Do feathers count when they're invisible? I'm asking because this morning, I slung a few criticism feathers which went completely unnoticed by the person I was gossiping about.
Okay, so I'm at the gym on the treadmill. Yes, I'm burping peppers from the slab of pizza I had for breakfast. I can take the irony of that. But then this limber chick in a gold lame (okay, it was red, but, hey, the top and bottom MATCHED), jogging suit hopped up on the treadmill next to me and cranked up the speed to sure-fire heart attack level. She popped her IPod into her ear and ran halfway across the state.
But I forgave her. I did not spit one feather at the gym. I stepped off the treadmill in my orthopedically altered shoes and staggered to my car. Pretend Gold Lame Lady left at the same time.
Here's where, as they say, THE FEATHERS FLEW. On my way home I turned into the Walgreens parking lot to pick up one of my many life-extending prescriptions. As I gimped to the door a black BMW shot into the handicapped parking spot RIGHT in front of the door.
As I always do, I checked to see if the car had the appropriate sticker or tag. It had neither. And here's comes the knife in the criticism pillow.
Out of the BMW sprinted the Gold Lame Lady!! I know. The feathers were STUCK ON ME.
The first lesson in becoming more in charge of the EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM is: